Just One of Those Days...
Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't want to be bothered? Laughing, smiling, socializing isn't something you feel like doing with anyone. You just focus on your work at hand and try and tune everyone out. I just had that day. Nothing caused my mood. No one pissed me off. It's not that time of the month. I just wanted to be left alone but as hard as I tried I couldn't just tune everyone out and it infuriated me even more. Everytime someone came by it was, 'what's wrong?' or 'Is everything ok?' and though I really couldn't put my finger on it I just said, 'I'm tired' in hopes of them getting it and moving on.
The funniest part is that even though something was eating at me I was more concerned with not offending anyone then dealing with my own issues. I didn't want anyone to think I was mad at them and I didn't want people to assume I was just catching an attitude so I just kept to myself until I was ready to force myself to warm up to people. Sadly, it didn't solve whatever it is that's bothering me. Even now as I type I don't know what's eating at me...well...actually I kind of do but I'm not ready to deal with it. So my mood is a manifestation of my inability to deal with whatever is bothering me. So what do I do from here? I do what I always do lock my issue away in a closet, cry myself to sleep, and treat today as just one of those days.
*****
Since I'm trying to create a more spirited world around me I know I must make the first step. What's the first step? Admitting the problem. So what's bothering me?....I hate change.
posted by Jbrit @ 10:46 PM
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