Mothers...So Darn Pushy
I love my mom to death but she is so pushy. All my life I've done things her way just so she would stop nagging me. Sometimes...ok, maybe most of the time she has been right but sometimes you need to make your own mistakes to really understand it's significance.
I'm currently apartment hunting. I am soooo not interested in this place she's suggesting I live at. Now, the apartment, for practical purposes, is perfect. The rent's cheap. The place has security, the complex is newly renovated, in house laundy facility, and an in house grcoery store. What's the problem you ask? Well, why would an apartment so perfect be so cheap? Yes, you got it, it's the area! The apartment is a gated community in the middle of the inner city (the city will remain nameless). Yes, I'm more embarrassed by the location of the apartment than anything else. It's trivial, I know. You have this great and affordable apartment and you're willing to pass it up because of where it's located? My answer: Hell, yeah. I'm the one who's going to live in it! When getting an apartment, it has to satisfy most, if not all of you're main requirements? Well, this apartment does not.
My mother's advice: Take the apartment now and when school is over and you're well into your career get whatever you want.
My point: I'm the one who'll be paying for MY apartment now AAAAAND when i get out of school so why should I settle for something I don't want when I can continue to look for an apartment I do.
I have an August deadline. She's not getting her way this time! No way, no how, not happening!
Settling For Nothing Less than I Deserve
"Well, you know what, I'm sorry, but I'm better than settling. If I never get married and have children, then that's just fine. I would be happier knowing that I'm alone because I chose not to settle than settling and always knowing that I did indeed settle. So I quickly got out of the mindset of 'damn everybody is getting married and having babies.' And afterall, there's more that I want to accomplish before marriage and children." Crimson
If this isn't a real statement then I don't know what is! Why is it that a woman is expected to have had an education, a career, married with children all before the age of 30? I'm 25 years old, in school, working, living on my own, leading my own life...content with the direction I'm going and someone can come up to me and say, "Have you met someone, yet?" and mess up my whole day. Like, everything else I've accomplished means nothing because I'm not married. The next statement is always, 'Well, you need to start working on finding that man so you can start having you some kids." Huh?
Why is it that today's independant woman will put her heart and soul in making her career happen but because she believes she's on biological time she will settle for the next available fool?
*raises hand*
ANSWER: Because society puts out two contradicting messages. An independant woman fends for herself but once she's there or is somewhere around the viccinity of independant she needs to work on finding that man to marry and have those kids. I'm not at all suggesting that you can't be independant and have kids but I do believe that there are people out there who really just have no interest in getting married or having kids either now or ever. Someone told me the people who think that way are either ugly or picky. I'll admit I'm a tad picky but I'm far from ugly. It's possible that there does exist woman who want to follow their own path to achieving their own idea of happiness whether it's having a career, being married with children, or both. Why not let them be without judging them? Just deal with the fact that some women's definition of having it all doesn't include being married and having kids.
