One giant leap for me...I am so proud of myself. So I was at a Liberty Travel with my girls and this idiot texts me "I miss you". Last year, I would've stopped whatever I was doing and reply back instead I ignored him. One giant leap for me!I sit here typing my thoughts realizing that it doesn't hurt as much as it did before. Yes, I have my moments when I'm all alone and need someone...anyone to fill my loneliness(read 3 posts down) but even then I never let him back in my life. Maybe I'm a lot stronger than I think. Hopefully, this is a sign that maybe I'm ready to go out there again and find Mr. Right. We'll see.
Quick thought....So I skipped work the last 2 days...just haven't been up to it. I called out twice within the first month of the year. What a way to start the new year! I just need a break from nursing. I've been doing this...for what...5 months and I'm already burned out. This is not looking good at all. I'm fine when I'm there. It's the getting up and going that's the problem. I need to figure something out quick.
Aaaaaaaaat Laaaaaaaaast!
Can you ask for anything more beautiful than this picture. Americans, for the most part, aren't used to seeing black couples on television. Now the most photographed couple (the title has always has belong to the President and First Lady) will be people of color. It's nice seeing something nonscripted and nonstagnant.
I want what they have!
I haven't been on my blog for well over a year. A lot has happened. I'm now a nurse. I work in the city. I make a lot of money...oddly enough I'm still broke. I've rekindled a lot of old friendships and now trying to rid myself of the unhealthy ones.
The biggest change: I'm seriously lonely. I don't mean I have no one to talk too but I have no intimacy in my life. Awhile back I described a relationship I had been in (it's a few posts down). I called it a "friend with benefit" type relationship. Well, we tried the relationship thing and he seriously hurt me. Mind you, I was the one who didn't want to pursue anything more than what it was but he insisted he believed it would work and it did for awhile until he started trying to talk to a couple of friends of mine thinking I would never find out. Talk about a low blow. My self esteem plummetted after that and I haven't recovered since. It's now been 5 months and everytime I think about it I get sick to my stomach. I'm a little better now....at least I'm not crying at the thought of him anymore but from time to time when I'm home alone and memories start creeping I do tear up. I have so many questions. He still texts me from time to time. I either ignore it or just reply one word answers. Why does he even bother? I gotta get over this. I want to meet someone. I want to be swept off my feet. I want to feel wanted. Right now, I just feel lonely.
